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Safety (One of the Most Instrumental Aspects of Recovery)

As a survivor of ritual abuse and mind control there was complete amnesia of the abuse or being involved in a cultic satanic group. I discovered that one of the most instrumental aspects of my recovery included external and internal safety.

Sometimes it is through the death of an abuser when we first start to feel safe. (in may case my dad was murdered in 1984). There can be life events like getting married or having a baby that trigger memories to surface (for me it was by getting a divorce in 1990 and losing physical care of my children in a custody hearing). I did get my children back after 2 years when they became children in need of assistance. OR we make a choice to disconnect from abusers because we get into recovery for depression, anxiety, PTSD, or for addictions and something just feels off around family or possibly having severe reactions after having contact with them. After my divorce from a very abusive controlling husband of 15 years, my family pretty much abandoned me. I came from a catholic family that didn't believe in divorce, and because I had started to talk about my abuse that I was starting to remember, I moved away and began living my life away from my mother, siblings, and ex-husband. Having physical distance away from my perpetrators and abuser group became what was necessary to keep from being accessed, reprogrammed and to get freedom. Because I stopped having contact with all my family members I didn't know that I stopped having contact with my abuser group. Because I relocated to another town almost three hours away I had distance from anyone who could access me. There was no physical contact, no phone calls, no correspondence through the mail. I had a sister who said that we could have a relationship if I never talked about my abuse and I tried that for awhile and I just couldn’t make a compromise like that. Because of the safety I had with my boyfriend who later became my husband I was able to deal with repressed memories of sexual abuse; then years later the memories of RA/MC. I continue removing toxic people from my life to have safety. Internal safety As an adult I created an inner world that was safe for everyone inside (I have different identities known as DID). Whoever wanted could talk to or play with each other. Some soothe other parts. This increased cooperation and co-consciousness. I let each new part know that we are no longer being abused. I worked with them to stop the self-hatred, negative comments. There are rules to not harm anyone in the system. By talking with them and identifying the lies each of them were programmed to believe we come to know what is true and best and safe for us internally.



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